Sunday Walk at Dusk

I walk back from the asphalt of the school playground

where I picked up a piece of wood

in the shape of a tree thought

blown from above in the wind

of  two nights ago.

I walk along the sidewalk home thinking

someone might mistake this branch for a gun

in the headlight glare.

so I carry it loosely swinging by two fingers

pointing the delicate web of lichen into the headlight

to reflect pale green above the gray silver bark.

maybe they see me and think

about the darkness that I am not.

maybe they only see me vaguely with no comprehension

simply a blank silhouette against the dark shadow trees

and the sky holding the last of the day’s blue around the edges of

oncoming clouds.

Maybe they see me and think.

 

 

 

I don’t do enough walking at night. It is strange how it makes me feel younger, a little adventurous, but not in danger.  My mind opens up in different ways when I walk in the dark. I become much less a visual creature and stretch out more with my thoughts, trusting my feet to fall right.

Before my walk I was feeling a bit harassed by thoughts of things I wanted to get done before my weekend comes to a close. Now I feel calmly ready to get what I can done. And I will let tomorrow take care of itself.

It’s been a while!

My life has been experiencing some glitches and internal rewiring due to some very positive changes. I am now one month into my new position as a coop preschool teacher of the paperwork free variety. I document by photos and conversations, and I am in charge of the program, but not the administration. All I have to do is develop relationships with children and parents and provide a safe stimulating environment that responds to their needs as individuals and encourages social interactions. I am very good at these things. Parents who put their children in this program are aware of our policy of child centered, play oriented learning so I don’t have to sell them on my philosophy and style. And best of all I do not have to do social service work and spend half of my time writing down what happens every day. We just do things. Mostly I inspire, observe, set limits and provide caring and conversations.

Now that I have transitioned into my new schedule and dealt with all of the feelings that come with the change of community. I did not move, but I left some friends and comrades in arms at my Head Start job and some families that I had grown close to. Whenever I make these transitions I go through a period in which my priorities fly up in the air, and I am not very good at juggling. I tend to be a one task at a time person. So writing remained up in the air for a while. Now I am feeling the rhythm and have started to catch all of my flying priorities. I even wrote a poem though I am not sure why it has such a strangely fatalistic tone. I am feeling very positive about most of my life even though things get a little overwhelming at times. But hey when a poem comes in from wherever they come from, I just write whatever comes through.

One More Day

Another chance to move

about in this small space,

Sweep a corner clear,

Chalk an outline of where

I will fall

With small

Adjustments that amount

to millions of still frames,

most of which I will

forget,

keeping only the ones that

mean the least,

flat, transparent images

unable to hold feeling,

as if they belong to someone else,

who is like me,

but seen from a distance,

flickered movements strobed

onto my mind screen,

an eyeball, a razor, a black-bearded man in a

tutu endlessly repeated,

infinitely varied,

until all possibilities are

exhausted.

A New Calender To Fill Up

This is the cover from my calender from July 08 through July 09. This year was a mix of many ideas and moods a lot of them frustrating and disappointing. I am now just one month into a new calender, and have yet to put a blank sheet on it for doodling (no long boring meetings). Already it has been eventful. I have quit my old job and as a result I got to finish my August with circus camp, which was totally inspirational. I got to meet a one armed juggler and family counselor who juggles bowling balls, and I get a few days off before I start my new job this week. A job that I hope will give me a lot more inspiration and joy. last year had some dark and desperate times almost all of them job related. I am hoping that the change I am making will make a huge difference in my creative life. It is already having a good effect on my outlook. Thursday is my first teacher in-service and potluck meeting with parents. For once I am not dreading paperwork days and multiple days of meetings in which I have to listen to the word from on high and not so high. I am in charge of the preschool, but I aim to invite children and parents into a learning collaboration. I think in this new coop school setting it will be possible. I know this year will be full of challenges and adjustment, but I am really looking forward to working with children and families and not having to prove that I am doing something by entering data and checking boxes. My documentation this year will be photographs and works of art, language samples and videos. The challenges will be how to cram it all into a tiny classroom and the time that I know will seem to short for all the ideas we want to explore.

101 in 1001

Self-Experiment #?

I have been inspired by fellow blogger  Three World Chant to create a list of 101 things I will accomplish in 1001 days. I have posted the list on a separate page here. I have been so inspired I started immediately working on the list before it was even finished.

Yesterday I walked a mile and a half at a place I had never been before and took 16 pictures some of which are below. I also got my bike out and started fixing it up and today I got a helmet. I put my car on Craigslist and wrote in my journal. I am still diligently reading 2666 by Robert Bolano which is so intreaguing in a very wierd way, but, also, so very long. I am half way through it. I hope I can finish before it is due at the library. I have another week off to tackle other things on the list. I worked on my novel for 5 hours the other day and will do more tonight. I am off now to clean out my moldy car so I can have people look at it on Sunday. So much time and so little to do. Wait strike that. Reverse it. Pictures from the sculpture garden tucked away in the middle of  a foresty part of a park in the middle of a nice little neighborhood in the middle of our charming little city.

Beginning the Journey Again

I wrote a comment on a list to a student who was wondering if the Reggio Emilia child centered approach to preschool was they way to go for a teacher just starting out. After I wrote I realized it really was a pep talk for myself.

I love teaching 3 to 5 year olds, but I am often left frustrated and de-inspired by the program I work for and my supervisor, who has a philosophy that you must keep children in line and under control. And then there is the never ending paperwork that has nothing to do with teaching or learning. I am nearing the end of another year in this program and I realize that I have been guilty of giving up the soul of my teaching out of laziness and frustration instead of putting into practice my philosophy where I can squeeze it in. It is so easy to fall into the I can get through this attitude when faced with the ever present status quo thinking, but the bottom line is I have not done enough to create the learning community I want my classroom to be. If I am not committed to the ideas that inspire me then how can I convince others to step onto the path. If I start now I will be ready for tomorrow and that will launch me into the next day. Little steps, carefully taken on the path to my goal of a classroom of engaged learning, I can do this if  I seize my opportunities and inspire others. If start with a little dreaming today, I can go into tomorrows planning session with some fire to light the first steps to finish off the year with some enthusiasm.

Here is my pep talk:

1. If you are working in large program or with a team, what are the approaches they use now and can the Reggio approach be used within the existing structure? How much do your team members know about this approach and are you ready to inspire change? It is challenging to be the only teacher in a program using this model.

2. Have you done the work of exploring your ideas about children and how they learn? On what inspires you and how you form relationships with children, parents and other teachers? If you are ready and committed to the philosophy then even if you stumble around a little, you will know that it is all part of the process of becoming an authentic teacher, but you have to know how you fit into the process first.

You have to know that whatever you do will look different than anything else if you are doing it right. This approach is about building a community of learners: Teachers, students, parents, siblings other members of the enveloping community. Your learning community will be a collaboration of all its members and so unique. If you are ready for being open to whatever happens and to building relationships based on respect and creativity then you are ready to start. The main thing is to reflect on the journey as you take the steps and not be too impatient. Have big ideas as you take the little steps along the way.